


Kanaya Maryam User's Manual

by achromaticBibliophile



Series: Homestuck Unit Manuals [14]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Canon Typical Shenanigans, Depression, Murder, Rainbow drinker, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:40:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24543208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/achromaticBibliophile/pseuds/achromaticBibliophile
Summary: It is with great pride and deepest pleasure that WHAT PUMPKIN is ready to unveil our latest creation in relation to our iconic webcomic HOMESTUCK. That’s right folks, its time for the newest release in the HOMESTUCK UNITS series with one of the most popular TROLLS around. You know her, I made her, she’s a kickass lady with a killer sense of fashion and even deadlier chainsaw, please put your palms together to herald the arrival of KANAYA MARYAM, the SYLPH OF SPACE and RAINBOW DRINKER extraordinaire. Now, she’s one of the most level headed of folks, but the legal crew insists that we encourage you to vigorously read the various settings and warnings we have before you do anything you end up regretting.
Series: Homestuck Unit Manuals [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1610812
Comments: 4
Kudos: 7





	Kanaya Maryam User's Manual

**Kanaya Maryam User’s Manual**

It is with great pride and deepest pleasure that WHAT PUMPKIN is ready to unveil our latest creation in relation to our iconic webcomic HOMESTUCK. That’s right folks, its time for the newest release in the HOMESTUCK UNITS series with one of the most popular TROLLS around. You know her, I made her, she’s a kickass lady with a killer sense of fashion and even deadlier chainsaw, please put your palms together to herald the arrival of KANAYA MARYAM, the SYLPH OF SPACE and RAINBOW DRINKER extraordinaire. Now, she’s one of the most level headed of folks, but the legal crew insists that we encourage you to vigorously read the various settings and warnings we have before you do anything you end up regretting.

**Legal Asscovering Agenda**  
So, just to lay down the ground rules and answer any moral/ethical questions one might have, all HOMESTUCK UNITS are homegrown, ecto-biology created individuals all capable of rational thought, expression of self and existence, and personality. No humans, animals, insects, plants, aliens, etc. were harmed in the making of these individuals and no mindscrewing of innocent individuals like a cheap sci-fi series occurred either. Not only do our units look like their comic counterparts, but they think and act like them as well! How we achieved this is waaay too technical and complex and frankly boring to describe so I’m just gonna say this: We did it, there was green slime involved, and now we have these guys. Look you can prostrate in front of us and weep tears of joy later, right now I have a manual to monologue while the fresh meat-I mean newest employee {I can see you rolling your eyes Emma} faithfully transcribes my words for your reading pleasure.  
This however doesn’t mean that your unit might not have a negative reaction to learning that they were created with the sole purpose of replicating their fictional persona from a webcomic {Last time we tried to explain the situation to a prototype...eh, that’s not important and nobody died so it’s fine. Yes Emma, I know our lab got wrecked and you were terrified, so were half of the other guys}. So when the time comes to have the sit down to explain the birds, bees, and ecto-biology machines to them, be patient, kind, and preferably in a situation where physical harm isn’t a concern.  
So yeah, back to the moral stuff so our lawyers are happy with us. While a majority of our beloved cast are around the 13 YEAR OLD marker, {or 6 SWEEPS OLD in the case of the TROLLS}, WP has taken the liberty to adjust the UNITS ages to a more appropriate and less creepy 21 years {10 SWEEPS}. This is in part due to unfortunate implications and situations that may arise with users interacting with our units, who would have been underaged individuals. Also in part because it is really sketchy when you unbox a literal teenager from our shipping. It’s weird enough doing it to an adult, a kid makes it even more squiwcky. Don’t fret and wail at the thought of your problematic fav no longer being exactly how you envisioned them (they probably don’t as they are anyway), their personalities are unchanged and this age change has been done with both you and the unit’s favor in mind. It also allows the unit to have more freedom in their new life with you, such as driving a car, getting a job, going to Nickel Shot Night, ect. Oh yeah, your UNIT is totally capable of getting a job {Keeping it is another story…} if they so desire and can greatly assist you in the running of your household, but we nor you run slave labor so don’t be an ass. We’ll list out some possibilities for each in case you and your new chum decide to flip through the classifieds or troll around some sites one day.  
And since every single one of those damn shippers want to know, yes your UNIT has fully anatomical parts associated with their species and gender and NO we here at WP are not going to describe the intricacies of TROLL genitalia for you. What’s in their pants is their own business {unless they want to show you}. The normal rules of society still apply: no non-con touching, no groping, and no otherwise inappropriate touching or actions without their explicit consent. {Good luck trying to use coercion on any of them anyway, you HAVE read the webcomic right? These guys can get violent fast and you’ll have no one to blame but yourself}. However, romance waits for neither man nor troll and our UNITS are fully capable of developing feelings for others, whether it’s another UNIT, the people around them, and even you. {Another reason for the age up too}. They can be romanced if you so desire but we recommend that you wait on this until they learn the whole “You’re fictional constructs from a webcomic given life, blah blah blah” since that can be a breach of trust and lead to relationship issues galore {Jeez Emma this is getting boring can’t we skip to the good stuff? I’m sure the readers are thinking the same thing.}  
Good news folks, we’re just about done with all this legal asscovering according to Emma {and for once those were her words not mine!} and we’ll be right on the road shortly! Just remember:  
We here at WHAT PUMPKIN are not responsible for any BLOODSHED, MAIMING, MUTILATION, SICK FIRES, CHAOS, and/or SHENANIGANS that may occur with the purchase of our products! As the user of our amazing service, you’re responsible for the CARE, WELLBEING, and SAFETY of your UNIT and any failure to properly tend to them will lead to UNFORTUNATE IMPLICATIONS and even REMOVAL of your UNIT. Any and all DAMAGE that may occur to your, your property, and others will likewise be attributed to you. Now, onto the good shit! Take it away Emma!

**Unit Information**   
Unit Name: Kanaya Maryam  
Additionally Answers to: Kan, KM, Fussy fangs, Vampire Fashion Queen, Fussyfangs  
Species: Troll  
Blood Hue: Jade  
Classpect: Sylph of Space {As per usual, check out the Classpect portion if you have the yearning for knowledge.}  
Age: 21 years/10 sweeps  
Date of birth/hatchday: January 26th {National Spouse’s Day seems an appropriate birthday as any for our loving lass. Her position as an aquarius is fitting, not only due to her analytical and headstrong nature, but also the roll that the TROLL associated with this symbol played in Kanaya’s revival into a rainbow drinker.}  
Trolltag:  grimAuxiliatrix [GA] 

**Your Unit comes with the following**  
One set of casual clothes  
One set of Derse pajamas   
One red dress with leaf print  
One blue kimono with floral print  
One black and white dress {Okay that’s it Emma, that’s the extent of the extra garments we’re giving her. She has too many amazing looks to pick from yes, but she’s already better equipped than all the TROLLS we have in the lineup in that department. And not like she can’t make more when she gets there.}  
One cuttlefish lunchtop {Perfect for a busy lass on the go, though she may get some questions about what sort of snack she brought before she fires up the screen.}  
One jade palmhusk  
One tube of lipstick {Which has the choice between black or jade lipstick per Kanaya’s whims. And can also become a chainsaw. Gotta love MAKEUPKIND tech.}  
One Demonbane Ragripper  
Assorted collection of Alternian literature focuses primarily on RAINBOW DRINKERS and similar supernatural beings  
One Matriorb {Don’t worry about suddenly having wrigglers underfoot the moment she gets home, she’s waiting for the appropriate time to fire this bad boy up and start tending to the infant Mothergrub in her own time.}  
A bountiful heap of fabric in a variety of composition and colors, as well enough needles, thread, and buttons {Oh My} to satisfy our creative fashionista’s heart  
One sewing machine {Would be pretty useless to send you all those elaborate fabrics. No mannequin sadly, that’s too heavy and big to stuff in with everything, and everyone, else.}

**Unit Settings**  
Friendly (Default)  
Prim (Default)  
Rainbow Drinker (Default)  
Fussy  
Annoyed/Sarcastic  
Furious (Locked)  
Parched (Locked)  
FRIENDLY is just like it says, Kanaya is one of the most mild mannered and kind trolls in the whole lineup. She’ll always be keen for some conversations and company, perhaps even sharing some gossip over tea and whatever snacks you have handy. It’s possibly to bond with her over a shared love of vampires, whether you appreciate them for their horror presence or for romantic fixation. Kanaya will be delighted to have someone to share her secret passion with and would probably express an interest in learning more about the Earth equivalent to rainbow drinkers.   
Now, Kanaya is the very epitome of a PRIM and proper lady. She speaks with a collected and calm air, appearing well put together in terms of both attitude and fashion. She’s always polite, save when she enters FURIOUS mode, and will do her best to get along with you. This doesn’t mean she’s stuffy however, though she may seem distant at times and unapproachable. Expect a lot of long winded chats over tea or coffee, conversations peppered with articulate words and topics of interest. **WARNING:** While Kanaya is quite put together, her way of organizing things is rather lacking, so don’t be surprised to see her fabrics laying around everywhere. Not to say she’s a messy person, in fact she’s normally quite tidy but when she’s working on something, other things suffer as she focuses all her attention on the latest project.  
Now I’m sure this mode is something you’ve all been looking forward to and RAINBOW DRINKER setting does not disappoint! While we’ll mostly be discussing the perks and whatnot of this down in Blood Hue, the gist of the matter is that Kanaya is a member of the undead, a glowing being of vampiric nature, capable of feats of strength and speed with a thirst for blood. She has learned to turn off and on her ability to...is she refracting the light around her or is it literally coming out of her? Sticky note that question for Luis for now. Either way, she won’t be making you wear sunglasses constantly in her presence like a Strider or a douche.   
_There’s a difference?_  
Haha, good one, Emma. Anyway, don’t be startled by Kanaya’s quick reaction speed or attention to detail, just normal vamp powers making themselves know. **WARNING:** Kanaya's change in diet and biology means that she requires blood on the regular, preferably that of a human or a troll, so its best that you figure out a safe way to get some of that blood lest Kanaya enter a PARCHED state, described below, which can be very detrimental to her health should she not drink blood every other day or so. Plan accordingly to acquire the ichor of life.  
MEDDLING is one of the downsides to Kanaya’s motherly, FRIENDLY nature, where she inserts herself into others lives to such a degree it can become frustrating to those the subject of her scrutiny. Now, her fussy ways are done with good intentions, often trying to help you adjust to new changes, find a balance in your life, or just trying to tidy your room up. However, she might overstep your boundaries at time or pry too much into your privacy. Maybe you don’t like the way she coddles you, it’s not everyone’s cup of hot leaf fluid. The best way to help Kanaya tone herself down around you, if you start to find the hovering too much, is to have a reasonable conversation with her. Open communication is truly the best way to settle things and by explaining your personal feelings to her, she will hopefully understand and limit her fussing over you.  
ANNOYED/SARCASTIC is pretty much as it says on the tin, a state in which Kanaya becomes more frustrated with those around her. She’s been know to chainsaw a computer or two in her time while she’s upset so it might be in your best interest to give her some space if she’s got a grimace going. She’s not exactly fluent in human sarcasm, but her relationship with ROSE LALONDE means she’s well on the way to being able to devastate you with words alone.  
We’re gonna have to break the **WARNING** labels out for the last two settings, cause they are some doozies. FURIOUS should be obvious and easy to identify on the rare occasion Kanaya goes absolutely feral. When she’s been pushed to the brink, she’s ready to chainsaw first and ask questions later and her RAINBOW DRINKER mode means she’s supernaturally strong and freakishly fast. When suitable motivated, she’s even capable of getting the drop on psycionically gifted trolls, chuckle voodoo users, and even seadwellers. **WARNING:** If you have the misfortune of being Kanaya’s object of ire, well enjoy your last few moments, this woman’s dynamite. Of course, it takes a lot for her to blow her stack so if you manage to pull off this feat, you’ve probably deserved it. WHAT PUMPKIN is not responsible   
Now, this one is something we only recently discovered, but its one that deserves a hefty **WARNING** alert for readers. PARCHED is directly tied with Kanaya’s RAINBOW DRINKER state, but this only occurs when she hasn’t had access to blood for more than a few days. Blood is the staple of her diet now, and when cut off from it she can experience negative side effects as a result. From becoming more lethargic to dim to her normally light bulb bright glow {On the occasions she turns it on} and even dipping more and more into her ANNOYED/SARCASTIC state. Twilight screwed over vampires for us, but it does get one thing right: Vamps get a little desperate for some red {Or multicolored if you have some other TROLL UNITS who are willing to give up some of that life giving liquid} elixir. As a result, Kanaya might become more predatory or eye hungrily at passersby. She’s not likely to dart out in the middle of the night to get some grub, but WHAT PUMPKIN is not responsible for any suspicious bite marks you and your neighbors might get. Best way to keep this from happening is figuring out a safe, for both you and her, way to acquire blood for her. This can range from you offering feedings to her, other UNITS pitching in, or even getting a shady acquaintance to bring some of that about to expire blood from hospitals and blood banks. Okay, maybe not that one giving the glare Emma’s giving me.   
_Legal doesn’t want us encouraging people to commit crimes beyond the ironic comments, Hussie. You KNOW this._   
Fine, fine. Anyway, if you’re willing to be the blood bag, be sure to take care of yourself after the nip from Kanaya, drink plenty of water, scarf some munchies, and clean up that mark. Luckily, RAINBOW DRINKER bites contain no venom or gross bacteria compared to our nasty human bites, so no need for emergency involvement. And remember, be gay, do crimes kids. OUCH!

**Blood Hue**  
Pretty sure this is one of the most anticipated **Blood Hue** options for you readers, practically frothing at the mouth for us to delve into Kanaya’s rich jade plasma and all the fascinating element that it offers her, from it’s exclusive rejuvenation to the typical bonus to a lifespan.   
Now, one of the most notable traits of Kanaya, as explained in her Unit Settings portion of the manual, is her status as a rainbow drinker. While I do admit that I’m uncertain how often it occurs, the transformation into a rainbow drinker is an exclusive Jade blood quality and its known enough to be a staple in paranormal romance literature on Alternia, so there had to be quite a few documented cases. This state only occurs when the individual capable of such transformation is killed, probably in a way that doesn’t completely destroy the head I’m assuming {Losing organs located in the abdomen is cool though}, before reviving shortly after the killing blow. This transformation grants the user a heightened ability of strength, speed, and agility, turning a, no doubt already, deadly TROLL into even more of a vicious killing machine. They also glow like a spotlight for some reason {Yeah, total Twilight references here, sorry not sorry folks. I think we have bigger issues with that piece of literature than sparkly vampires though, which we’re not delving into at this time.} One could argue that, for a nocturnal species like TROLLS, being charged by a rapidly approaching, figure with literal glowing skin would be disorienting and terrifying, so perhaps an evolutionary thing that I never fully explained prior to now. Additionally, Jade bloods are amongst the only TROLLS capable of walking out into Alternian sunlight, from a star that’s so intense that it burns travelers caught unaware into extra crispy, dehydrated jerky corpses. While this is no longer a problem now that TROLL UNITS will be living on Earth which has a much less hot sun, Kanaya and her fellow Jades {Once release dates are confirmed} will adapt more easily to a diurnal lifestyle. There is the negative side effect of now adopting a blood-related diet, though solid foods are still fine, although the body’s chemistry has been changed to prioritize liquid sustenance and can enter a bloodthirsty state should this not be properly managed.  
Being stuck in the dead center of the ROYGBIV spectrum of the TROLL hierarchy, Kanaya is granted a pretty considerable lifespan under normal circumstances, ranging between eighty to a hundred sweeps for a typical healthy life. Human years roughly translates to 173 to about 220. Pretty dang good by our standards, right? Well, add into this the possibility that a rainbow drinker can only die when they’re killed, Kanaya could potentially live indefinitely, so long as she keeps herself from sustaining too much damage in the long term. Of course, if/when WP releases QUEST BEDS/SLABS once we figure out GODTIERING, Kanaya can even gain the conditional immortality such status provides and lower the chance of a permanent death even further. WHAT PUMPKIN does not encourage murder or suicide in order to achieve GODTIER status and such a thing should be reserved for difficult situations and not be used willy-nilly.  
Moving onto the possibility of being mentally susceptible to mental attacks. Now, Kanaya’s got her fair share of trauma like most of her companions, so a purple using their voodoos would have ample ammo against her. Though she’s the headstrong, determined type and will no doubt attempt to power through it to deliver a swift kick between the legs before the chainsaw meets its mark. Psychological manipulation will almost be difficult to fight against, we never explored if Kanaya herself was susceptible to it and to what degree, but it is possible as her ancestor was shown to be manipulated in this fashion. 

**Classpect**  
_Emma once more resuming position of narrator of the manual once again to knock out this portion of our guide to Ms Maryam, where I provide a walkthrough on how the combination of her class and aspect can affect her abilities. Should she become GODTIER, of course, although it is possibly to see how her personality and actions are influenced by CLASSPECT. As a reminder to those familiar to this process, or new information to those who are unfamiliar with the topic, the class is a title granted to a player, giving them a boundary in which they can use their abilities as well as challenging them to personal growth, and the aspect is one of twelve possible categories that mark out the potential abilities that can be used in tandent to the class._  
_Sylphs are an unusual class, Kanaya herself describing it as_ Sort Of Like A Witch But More Magical _though she later retracted this statement. This class is thought to specialize in healing, as someone “who heals [aspect] or one who heals through [aspect]”, and canonical evidence supports this stance. The Space class is one of the most fascinating to theorize upon, Kanaya expressing it is_ Not Just Physical Room And Dimension For Stars To Occupy. Its Deeper Than That. A Field Related To Propagation. The Ones Who Create It They Are Passing A Torch As It Were _. Space is particularly tied not only to the size and velocity of objects and people as well as the expanse of, well space,, but also creation, as all Space players are necessary to construct their session’s new universe via frog breeding. _  
_Now, Kanaya’s status as the Sylph of Space means that she’d be described as an individual capable of healing Space or one who heals through Space, suggesting that she’d be able to mend the fabric of reality around her. As easily as one patching up a whole in a well worn garment, Kanaya could, in theory, mend the fabric of spacetime or even heal the wounds of those around her. She may have unknowingly utilized such powers through her…_  
You can say meddling. I think the readers are expecting that.   
_...Mediation, amongst her friends. By serving as a third party in arguments or even serving as a sounding board to others, Kanaya used her position, or Space, in order to help others heal or resolve their personal problems. Iit is suggested that Sylphs work on a more abstract or psychological sense of their aspect, so its possible there are subtle methods that could occur for Kanaya to explore further should she ever achieve this elusive status. Again, we do not encourage suicidal ideation or murderous intent should this option ever become a possibility to our patrons. GODTIERING and revival can be an emotionally draining and traumatizing event for one to go through, regardless to how many times an individual has been brought back before, and the mental toll it would take should someone engineer their death will be massive towards a UNIT, damaging any hopes of a friendship you should ever have with them._  
Wow, looks like you’re adopting Ms. Maryam’s sesquipedalian verbosity for this occasion. Or at least deciding to ramble considerably. Taking lessons from the boss man to go off on a tangent? Letting those thoughts run like horses, whining and knickering as they dart along the pasture in a panic?    
_I expected this from Hussie, not you Hal._  
Ouch, now that hurt. Like a suckerpunch to my fictitional feelings, striking at the metaphorical heart of my programming simulating emotions such as pain.   
_Hal, if you’re having doubts concerning your presence as an individual capable of emotions and personality again, I’m more than willing to listen to your concerns and offer support. But I unfortunately am needed to continue this dictation for the remainder of this manual._  
Whoa, no need to read in too deep to that stuff Ems. Just putting out a little humor. You know how I roll.   
_Hiding behind irony and jokes in order to mask any emotional distress?_  
Damn, going straight for my throat. No. I’m cool. I’m chill. Chiller than chill. Frosty like those drinks served at Wendy’s.   
_Hal…_  
Look, you do you for right now, I’ll do me. We can talk later. When our convo isn’t being transcribed into a manual for readers with the boss breathing down your neck.   
_Oh crap. I’m sorry this is just instinct-_  
Nah, keep it in there. I’m sure most people are into the office drama around here. Enjoying the voyeuristic nature of getting a glimpse into the lives and relationships of those who toilessly labor for their enjoyment.   
Hey Emma, you almost done there? You normally steamroll through this section, or is Hal being a jerk and whining to you for emotional support again to distr-GODDAMNIT NOT THE BOOT.  
_That should be your answer...Fine, I’ll wrap this up. We will continue this conversation again Hal._  
Looking forward to it.   
_Ahem, ignoring the wall of personal text that, unfortunately, refuses to be deleted, this about sums up Kanaya’s segment of the Classpect section. WHAT PUMPKIN will certainly contact you should our research in GODTIERING prove successful, through we again reiterate that neither murder nor suicide is encouraged. Save this for a rainy day or an event in which Kanaya has been mortally wounded and you have no access to a LIFE or TIME player. Okay, that’s your cue Hussie._

**Potential Jobs**  
Now, with my ice pack firmly clamped to a rising bruise on my shin and a glare at my normally trusty, if testy transcriber, we’re gonna forge ahead with our manual to our Potential Jobs portion! While you cannot force any of your UNITS to get a job, most are usually interested in making a career for themselves, whether it’s their passion, a desire to contribute to the household funds, or boredom. Kanaya is a passionate and dedicated lady who’s got varied interests that offers her several great options for careers she could pursue.  
_Fashion Designer_  
To anyone familiar with the original webcomic, it should come to no surprise that our darling Ms. Maryam is an experienced seamstress and designer of glamorous garments. Even offering to do minor alterations at local dry cleaners will be a good way for her to get her name out there. For a more illustrious position, going to a fashion design school will def boost the credentials and build up connections with like minded and creative people, but Kanaya’s skills cannot be ignored. She may need some help acquiring more than the basics in her sewing kit if she wants to expand her products, but in no time she’ll be crafting clothes for all manner of folks. She might even be willing to whip up something special for you as well! Expect a well made, and horrible, Christmas jumper when the holidays roll around!  
_Midwife/Maternity Nurse_  
Kanaya has a very maternal nature about her, always fussing and worrying over others, and her background on Alternia already had her down this path of life as part of the Jade bloods. Kanaya comes equipped with a Matriorb, a necessary component in order to hatch a Mothergrub, responsible for gestating future generations of trolls. She’s not going to hatch it just yet, not until the appropriate time with those willing to donate their genetics to the future brood, but she’s more than a little intrigued by the human method of maternity care. Our form of reproduction is...way different to her species norm, but Kanaya is no stranger to blood, guts, and gore, and her doting nature and sensitivity means she’s more than capable and willing to learn more in order to assist new mothers and their offspring. Now, obviously she’s going to need a medical degree and experience before she’s allowed into her hospital scrubs, but you can bet once she’s put in the effort, Kanaya will be the most well dressed and attentive nurse to assist in childcare. Plus it’ll give her access to blood from the hospital’s cold storage probably. OUCH, don’t kick me! She needs that blood somewhere? Yeah, yeah, don’t encourage thievery…  
_Garden Landscaper_  
With her creativity and trusty chainsaw by her side, Kanaya enjoys cutting into some topiary, carving the trees and bushes into intriguing designs and shapes. There’s plenty of folks who’d enjoy having some unusual agriculture around their homes for decorative purposes, so it wouldn’t be surprising for Kanaya to get in the business. She’s got a knack of aesthetics and love for gardening that will surely allow her to rise to prominence in this field, although it may take a while to build a name in it as well as getting the necessary tools of the trade. And dealing with stereotypes for such a job, unfortunately. But if she can keep her cool and keep the chainsaw on the topiary rather than a client, we’re positive she can be successful.

**Unlocking Your Unit**  
**WARNING:** While Kanaya is normally a calm figure, she’s also a brutal and deadly force of nature should she be pushed in fight or flight mode. And that chainsaw is not for show. Hence it’s heavily encouraged from WHAT PUMPKIN that you follow one of our selected options on how best to get Kanaya to emerge.  
**Option One**  
Entice her out with some paranormal romance literature or movies. Kanaya has a massive weakness to this sort of media, particularly if it features creatures of a vampiric persuasion, though she will be baffled by the difference between these fanged creatures compared to the more familiar rainbow drinker. Curiosity peaked, Kanaya will slice her way out to join you on the couch, don’t be surprised by the sudden chainsawing sounds when this occurs. It just shows how eager she is to join you in the supernatural speculation and admiration.  
**Option Two**  
Offer to put on some fashion designer show or even play as Kanaya’s mannequin. Fashion conscious lady that she is, Kanaya will be more than interested to join you in whatever competition you’ve managed to scrounge up from the Internet and she’s itching to resume her own design skills. You may not enjoy having to remain still for the duration of it, or the rare prick of needles as she meticulously works, but Kanaya will certainly appreciate the chance to design for someone else and constructing something fitting to your own aesthetic. She might even help you figure out a better wardrobe for you, as long as you’re cool with her shifting through your closet and drawers.  
**Option Three**  
Offer a warm cup of tea, coffee, or blood in order to facilitate a good start at a friendship. Nothing like sharing a cuppa to build some rapport and the final liquid is something that will definitely catch her attention. Of course, should she accept the offer, Kanaya will likely help tend to you following the feeding in this case and will greatly appreciate the gesture to her. Use the time spent recovering from a little blood lose by chatting and sharing interests, despite the wooziness. 

**Relationships with Other Units**  
Just like the other UNITS we have in stock, and the works of course, Kanaya has a number of relationships to be analyzed, discussed, and speculated upon should there not be sufficient information to just copy and paste. Still, WHAT PUMPKIN is confident in our ability to put pen to paper, or rather words to computer document, in regards to the various connections Kanaya has.

_Humans_  
**John Egbert**  
Now, the initial interaction between Kanaya and John wasn’t off to a good start, though Kanaya believed she was chatting with a completely different party, leading her to contribute her irritation at John’s antics to this individual instead. She later contacted a past version of John {Damn trollian being able to hop along the timeline like a goddamn jackrabbit on pixie sticks, that shit gave me more than enough headaches to struggle through} and she was made suitable frustrated by John’s antics once more, even calling him stupid before John gave a cheerful farewell and blocked her. However, once the time shenanigans were all cleared up, Kanaya has a bit more of a positive opinion on John, though she was completely confused by his presence on the meteor after he knocked VRISKA SERKET out. Still, she was pleased to reunite with him three years into the future and eventually joined him and the rest of the team assigned to defeat HIC after her own mission was successful. Nothing says good friends like a bond forged int he fire of battle and murdering a killer sea witch, am I right? Kanaya is now more bemused by John’s pranks and tomfoolery, although she’s more than likely to become miffed should she be the target of his japs. Regardless, these two will be happy to see each other once again and you can often see them hanging out with a movie going on or John even helping Kanaya with one of her projects.  
**Rose Lalonde**  
Ah, now this is the portion of this manual all of you were waiting for, hungry for our analysis of this key relationship in our webcomic. Now, Kanaya’s starting opinion on Rose is always fun to delve into, as Kanaya had a copy of Rose’s walkthrough of SBURB long before the TROLLS began their own session. She greatly admired and looked up to Rose for her eloquence and skills, though she mistakenly believed the other to be a TROLL like herself. However, this opinion dimmed a bit once she tried to contact her, unknowingly conversing instead with JOHN EGBERT, who proceeded to troll Kanaya and making her believe her deeply admired Rose was an imbecile. However, another talk with the Egg-meister led her to reach out once more with Rose, attempting to be friends. And thus a friendship forged by extensive communication, with a huge heaping of playful banter and snarking of broads, began. Kanaya even developed her SARCASTIC attitude thanks to Rose’s own behavior. Kanaya cared deeply for Rose during the latter’s game session, even warning her against her more risky plans and actions, causing Rose to appreciate her concern. Once these two met up, they grew even closer, sharing literature and gossip before eventually forming a romantic relationship. Luckily, this is all RETCON timeline information here folks, so Rose’s alcoholism was not ramped up to eleven and the two had a very healthy relationship as they explored the beginnings of troll-human romance. They fight side by side and refuse to leave one another behind, joining forces against HIC to take space sea Hitler down. And yes folks, they got married once everything quieted down, breaking glass and eating cake and hoisting chairs during a TRICKSTER fueled revelry. All the pizzazz. Of course, this means these two will have a very touching, loving reunion once you acquire them both. Don’t be surprised when you catch them cuddling together, sharing books and blood and kisses wherever they please. Let them enjoy their happiness, they’ve earned it.  
**Dave Strider**  
Kanaya initially contacted Dave in order to get some insight towards ROSE LALONDE, the latter simply believing that she was merely trolling her but Kanaya truly appreciated the comments and suggestions he gave her. Unaware Dave was just yanking her chain. Still, the two had a decent opinion of one another later on in their conversations and they got to meet one another for real when he and ROSE LALONDE arrived on the TROLLS meteor hideout. While they may have spent more time with other parties during the duration of their stay on the meteor, we can assume that Kanaya and Dave have a good bond between each other, having easy conversations with one another prior to the final confrontation with the various evil forces against them. This suggests that the two of them got to know one another, as both of them from the GAMEOVER timeline agreed was a good idea. They also became in-laws following Kanaya’s marriage to ROSE LALONDE and they two no doubt grew closer as friends and family as a result. As such, Kanaya will be happy to see Dave once more, though she’s not at all interests to show him Alternian slampoetry or get dragged into raping with him.   
**Jade Harley**  
Now this relationship had a bit of a rough start, due to Jade’s reluctance to trust the TROLLS due to their constant harassment, but Kanaya and she eventually became good friends, able to bond over their similarities as Space players, sharing a Denizen, and their chill personalities. Their lives in solitude also gave them a bonding point for discussion and having to stuff/butcher their respective guardians probably aided this closeness as well. It's probable that Kanaya gave Jade information on how best to create the Genesis Frog necessary to birth a new universe. While they were separated during the three year time skip and Jade was asleep for a good deal of Kanaya’s presence during the planning stages for the final battles of the game, they are shown to be pleased to meet with one another following their respective missions. We’re positive both will resume their friendship once you have them in your household, the pair dabbling in fashion and cosplay, hanging out and generally becoming excellent buddies.  
**Jane Crocker**  
Of course, once we reach the ALPHA KIDS, we’ve got to scratch our collective heads and break out the conspiracy boards in order to figure out exactly how these kids would get along with the TROLLS. Luckily, we only have to focus on the RETCON timeline in regards to Kanaya and Jane, otherwise there’d be some negative opinions from the former directed towards the latter. Kanaya had little interaction with Ms. Crocker, due to her being unconscious to prevent her from attacking while in CROCKERTIER mode, although the two did join forces to fight against HIC, Jane even healing Kanaya during the course of the fight. Its likely that the two were able to bond and trust one another as a result during this situation, giving them a positive framework for them to build a close friendship once they reunite. They’re both responsible young ladies with a polite attitude, though they have their sarcastic moments too, so it’s the WHAT PUMPKIN guarantee that they’ll easily fall into step with one another. Kanaya may serve as a voice of wisdom to prevent Jane’s more headstrong attitude and tendency to ignore good advice.   
**Jake English**  
Once again, little canon interaction to be found between these two, mostly due to how Kanaya spent most of her time during the meeting with Rose while Jake was distancing himself from everyone around him. Trauma can do bad shit to people, folks. However, WHAT PUMPKIN is giving its thumbs up of these two become chums once they start breaking the ice between them. Kanaya will enjoy having another friend around to expand her fashion portfolio and Jake is always willing to help a friend out. Luckily, Kanaya may be what the doctor ordered for English, as she’s the type to meddle and fuss over others, trying to help them out. He may put up some initial resistance, but she can be a comforting person to him, not having any personal expectations that Jake feels he’s obligated to live up to and can just be his usual goofball self. Kanaya might not be keen to join in on his constant movie marathons, but she will be intrigued by films focusing on the supernatural and Jake loves all movies, so she won’t be adverse to putting on Twilight. Though he may refrain from doing any repeats of the series once they finish it.  
**Roxy Lalonde**  
Surprisingly, Kanaya already has some positive opinions on Roxy as both parties were conscious and interacting with one another during the group meeting before their victory. They shared some conversation with ROSE LALONDE, Kanaya noting the similarities in both Lalonde’s interests and being bemused by Roxy’s antics. Kanaya grew to appreciate her even more when Roxy, after channeling and honing her ROGUE OF VOID abilities, was able to materialize a Matriorb for Kanaya. She was so moved to tears to be reunited with the cherish, vital to trollkind object and was grateful for Roxy’s efforts. The pair joined forces to duke it out with HIC, working together to bring down the sea bitch with Roxy getting in the final blow. It’s a done deal that Kanaya will be delighted to meet up with Roxy once more, and the feeling will be mutual. They’ll easily start hanging out, Kanaya even constructing elaborate wizardly robes much to Roxy’s delight and the pair will become the best sisters-in-law {That’s the closest we can figure that particular relationship between them, what with all the ecto-biology going on.}  
**Dirk Strider**  
Damn Dirk, why are you so hard to figure out relationships for? Damn Prince of Heart...Anyway, there’s not much we can describe of a dynamic between Kanaya and this dude, since he was playing through distant paradox space while she was at a critical planning meeting. They might have exchanged a quick word or two after Dirk was Portal-ed there by VRISKA SERKET, but not really enough time to form an opinion on a stranger you barely got to say “hi” to, especially with everything going on. Still, we’re pretty sure they will be on decent terms if/when they start living in your home. Kanaya is somewhat used to the Strider brand of irony thanks to three years with DAVE STRIDER, so she can deal with that from Dirk and can hopefully help him with his own self-loathing issues, since she’s got some experience with KARKAT VANTAS as one of her closest companions. There might be some possible construction of cosplay outfits in their future too, so that’s always a treat.

_Trolls_  
**Karkat Vantas**  
Moving forward into the TROLLS portion of the Relationships section and I hope you’re ready for a hefty portion right off the bat! Even before SBURB, there was a good bond there, with Kanaya often trying to calm Karkat down from one of his angst, livid moods and he trusted her, considering her to be one of the sanner members of their group. He also invited her to join the RED TEAM and later assisted her in her attempts to breed the Genesis Frog to secure their victory, later describing her as his  OTHER BEST FRIEND.  Thankfully as this is all RETCON timeline content, their bond did not weaken during the meteor journey and in fact the two are shown to be on very good terms with one another, the pair being very open and honest with one another, even more than before. They later sought out Echidna, the Space Denizen, for information necessary to retrieve the BETA KIDS Genesis Frog. Due in part to a warning from her Denizen as well as her own desire to see him safe, Kanaya knocked him out before she went to meet up for her role in the final confrontation, giving him a little pat and kind words despite his unconscious state. It goes without saying that these two will be beyond thrilled to be reunited, Kanaya immediately falling into her caring, motherly mode and trying to untangle Karkat’s wild locks, perhaps even a hug occurring over his half-assed complaints. You’ll probably see them hanging out often, perhaps with some romance books or a romcon playing with them discussing the plot and romance woes over snacks, maybe even gossiping. This is one relationship you can let on its own, they’ve got this one figured out on their own.  
**Aradia Megido**  
And now, we must resume our typical extrapolation due to lack of canon content providing an in-depth look at the friendship between the two parties. We can defend that Kanaya has a friendly relationship with Aradia, due to not only the presence of one another’s trolltrags in each others computers but also as its likely Aradia investigated the ruins near Kanaya’s hive, suggesting they met up in person a few times. Its unknown if Kayana was aware of Aradia’s deceased status until reuniting in SGRUB, but she was very well aware of the parts both of them would have to play in the coming game, even reaching out to Aradia to inquire  Is There Nothing I Can Do To Change Your Mind.  Even with receiving a confusing, negative answer, Kanaya insists that  Ill Be Here To Help  Aradia regardless of what will happen, showing that she cares about her safety. Or enjoys meddling with others. Probably that one more than the previous. Regardless, they worked together once the RED and BLUE TEAMS joined forces to confront the BLACK KING and were about to achieve their victory, until BEC NOIR busted in and Aradia had to get everyone the heck outta there. After Aradia’s revival on the meteor and sending everyone on their way to the new session, Kanaya and she had a good conversation and bid one another farewell, showing that they still cared about each other. Once they’re reunited, you can bet these two will be pleased to see each other again and   
**Tavros Nitram**  
Now, we can at least theorize that these two are on good enough terms before the start of SGRUB, due to their friendly personalities. Kanaya was the one who suggested that Tavros should attempt to personify his self-esteem in the effort to become more confident and, given the creation of Rufio, Tavros clearly trusted her and took her suggestion to heart. Being on the RED TEAM together suggests that they worked together with each other, though Kanaya spent much of her time focused on her duties as the designated frog breeder. However, it is possible their relationship got a little frosty, after Kanaya caught VRISKA SERKET kissing Tavros. Perhaps some misguided jealousy occurred and led to a somewhat strained relationship between them after. It is noted at one point that Kanaya volunteered to be the one to saw the unsuspecting Tavros’s legs off, though we’re not sure whether this was due to her frustration over the VRISKA SERKET incident, cabin fever settling in on the meteor, or genuine good intentions for Tavros to be able to walk again. Still, she didn’t let her irritation plague her judgement forever and she was suitably furious with Tavros’s murderer upon learning of his demise. Its possible that they met up on occasion during dreambubble stops and continued their friendship. TAVROSPRITE was shown to be friendly with Kanaya during their brief interactions, showing they remained close. Still, WP is positive these two will get along great when they see each other again!  
**Sollux Captor**  
Much of the relationship here is, once again, based on some passing comments and short conversations rather than a heavy content filled backstory, but we gotta work with what we’ve got. Kanaya and Sollux were apparently on pretty good terms with one another, Kanaya even commenting that  If I Recall I Was Typically The One Who Would Solicit Reprives From Your Nonsense,  suggesting that dhr could even get annoyed with his constant rambling in a way not too dissimilar to the bond between ROSE LALONDE and DAVE STRIDER. Kanaya frequently asked him for assistance in regards to computers, although she doctored an excuse one time in order to have a reason to bother him, showing she respects his skills and appreciates his assistance. Following her death and his blinding at the hands of ERIDAN AMPORA, she was revitalized shortly after and assisted him in navigating the meteor. He was even shown to have a patched up bite wound, implying he allowed Kanaya to feed on him so she was at full strength. She also killed ERIDAN AMPORA for several reasons, Sollux’s blinding being just one of many. Expect a hefty dose of sacracism between them both when they meet up, although there is plenty to be sincere about them reuniting. She may nag Sollux a bit out of concern for his health, so don’t be surprised to see him rolling his eyes on occasion but they’ll still be best buds.  
**Nepeta Leijon**  
Now, we’re really scrounging the bottom of the barrel for these two. Unfortunately there isn’t a lot of interactions shown for them canonically, on either Alternia nor during their session of SGRUB, so we’ve got a lot of guesswork to do. Still, WHAT PUMPKIN is 100% confident that these Kanaya and Nepeta are on good terms with one another due to their friendly personalities. Upon their reunion, don’t be surprised to see Nepeta grilling Kanaya on all the juicy romance updates that she’s missed and Kanaya being embarrassed by the attention her relationship with ROSE LALONDE receives from our delighted cat girl.   
**Terezi Pyrope**  
WHAT PUMPKIN guarantee that these two are on good, healthy terms with one another! And isn’t that rare for us to say? Okay Emma, no need to glare, you could shatter a mirror with that intense stare. These two have always been on great terms, both prior to and during SGRUB, where they both served on the RED TEAM until the two teams united for a joint cause. Kanaya never treats Terezi as an invalid over her condition and likely was responsible for repairing her multitude of Scalemates after Terezi enacted her various methods of execution during her roleplaying. While they spent their time on the meteor primarily with other people, we can assume that Kanaya and Terezi remain close, especially as they didn’t drift apart as they did in the GAMEOVER timeline. Kanaya still defers to Terezi’s judgment during their planning for the upcoming battles, showing she respects her decisions and leadership. They will likely be ecstatic, or at least Terezi will reach that level of excitement, upon their reunion, Kanaya no doubt getting a good licking from Terezi. Kanaya might wrangle Terezi into serving as a model for her, so long as she follows our hue-loving gal to wear a mix-and-match of clashing colors and patterns to her heart, and nose’s content.   
**Vriska Serket**  
We’ve got a whole heck of a lot to analyze here between Kanaya and Vriska, hope you’re prepped to buckled your seatbelts for this rollercoaster of ups and downs. Prior to the events of SGRUB, Kanaya was Vriska’s moirail, serving as a moderator to Vriska’s moods and trying to keep her from doing harm to herself and others. Kinda failed on that mark, but its always hard to be the moiral of a person higher up on the hemospectrum and Kanaya was reluctant to get too involved in stopping her from doing bad things. Of course, its even harder when you’re actually flush for said person, no matter how much Kanaya denied it to anyone who had two eyes and could tell her feelings. Vriska didn’t much care for Kanaya’s meddling, deferring to her as  Miss Meddlesome McFussyfangs  in frustration and even being upset when Kanaya doesn’t attempt to stop her from doing dangerous things. It isn’t until Vriska started making the moves, and by moves we mean forcibly kissing and then mindcontrolling to get a kiss back, on TAVROS NITRAM that Kanaya happened to witness that caused her to become furious with her old crush, becoming more frosty and reluctant to do any moirail duties, even commenting she planned to put her  Preposterous Infatuation  behind her. They worked together to some degree as part of the RED TEAM, though Kanaya apparently kept up a very terse attitude towards Vriska which continued during their stay on the meteor, much to the latter’s confusion and hurt. Due to JOHN EGBERTS actions that prevented Vriska’s JUST DEATH, Kanaya had to put up with Vriska’s antics and her trying to put in on Kanaya’s private time with ROSE LALONDE. They apparently put aside any negative thoughts during the three year timeskip in the RETCON universe and are on better terms, Kanaya completely getting over her earlier crush. As such, WP thinks these two will be on decent terms should you ever acquire both UNITS, thought Kanaya is now less willing to deal with Vriska’s bullshit.  
**Equius Zahhak**  
Extrapolation time once again folks, I mean, how many people does Equius interact with consistently besides NEPETA LEIJON, KARKAT VANTAS, ARADIA MEGIDO, and GAMZEE MAKARA for us to get a good fix on those relationships? Moving on, we can guesstimate a polite, if awkward connection between Kanaya and Equius. She’s the epitome of a Jade blood, we assume, and is polite to those she interacts with, so she wouldn’t rattle Equius’s opinions of the hemospectrum. It is likely she is somewhat uncomfortable with his attitude and deep passion with hoofbeasts, though Kanaya won’t let some discomfort ruin a relationship totally. They were on decent enough terms during their stay on the meteor, though Equius kept mainly to himself or with NEPETA LEIJON for the most part. Kanaya even wore his shades for some time following her beatdown of GAMZEE MAKARA, the shades just happening to land smoothly and epically onto her face as though Equius was giving his approval from beyond the grave. Probably not, but we’d like to think so. At the very least, things will be pretty chill between these two if they happen to cross paths or you receive both UNITS from us. It is possible that they can form a deeper bond with one another, as Equius starts to relax on his stance of Alternian morals and learns to cool down while Kanaya could bond with him over the struggle of containing supernatural strength following her change into a rainbow drinker.   
**Gamzee Makara**  
TIme for the heavy stuff once again readers, thought not as bad as the GAMEOVER timeline info {We hope no more forbidden memories make an emergence in time, as with these two involved it would be a horrible boiling kettle of fish spewing its nasty fishy water all over and burning everything with its scalding liquid.} There’s not a lot we can say about Kanaya’s past history with Gamzee, there’s very little canon information we can use. We can guess they were on friendly enough terms, at least to have shared their trolltags and worked on the RED TEAM together, though its likely she was often annoyed by Gamzee’s antics and whimsical nature. However, following the murderous events of the meteor, Kanaya was in an absolutely furious state, busting out with her newly awoken RAINBOW DRINKER abilities to deliver a swift kick straight to Gamzee’s shameglobes and sending him flying off a cliff. Luckily, Gamzee was wrangled by TEREZI PYROPE due to some RETCON bullshit and VRISKA SERKET kept him in line for the remainder of the meteor trip. Kanaya will of course continue to be frosty and wary of Gamzee should they meet up again, although she’s willing to give a second chance so long as he seek out professional help and treatment to deal with his messed up head and make the appropriate reparations for all the problems he caused.   
**Eridan Ampora**  
Prior to the start of SGRUB, these two actually had a pretty good friendship, despite some strained moments at times, as Kanaya often served as an auspistice between Eridan and VRISKA SERKET, who was both Eridan’s pitch partner and Kanaya’s moirail/secret flush crush. Kanaya would often be approached by Eridan for help and even provided it, although she never resisted a poke at him which he waved off fairly easily. They appeared to trust one another and he appreciates the effort she made to construct a magic/science wand for him. They even shared their personal feelings regarding their flush crushes, although Kanaya refrained from giving up too much. They considered each other friends during their session. Unfortunately, Eridan snapped on the meteor, due to several straining factors, and lashed out following a duel with SOLLUX CAPTOR, destroying Kanaya’s Matriorb before killing her and FEFERI PEIXES. Fortunately for Kanaya, she was only dead for a short time, reviving as a rainbow drinker. Unfortunately for Eridan, she proceeded to bisect him with her chainsaw for his responsibility in killing her and FEFERI PEIXES, blinding SOLUX CAPTOR, and destroying the only hope for future troll generations {I mean, that’s what a PRINCE OF HOPE does, but Kanaya had every right to be pissed.} As such, we don’t expect Kanaya to be too pleased to see Eridan anytime soon, so it’s in your best interests to keep the both separate while those tempers are running rampant. He’s probably going to shy away from her regardless for a bit. It is possible that they can repair their friendship if Eridan makes the right moves to apologize and seek out help in order to deal with his own negative feelings and destructive nature, but it will take time and effort and you may find yourself stepping between a rainbow drinker and a huge freaking gun should things get testy. WHAT PUMPKIN is not responsible for any damages that may occur to you or your property during arguments between your UNITS. In time, these two could possible resume their friendship, tentatively of course, but could soon fall back in their way of gossiping, sharing advice, and criticising fashion with one another.  
**Feferi Peixes**  
It is shown that Kanaya and Feferi are fairly close, the two able to share personal topics between them. This included even relating their struggling moiraligences with VRISKA SERKET and ERIDAN AMPORA, their respective partners, to one another. Feferi was even aware of Kanaya’s crush on VRISKA SERKET and encouraging her to go for it, despite Kanaya’s concerns. Feferi encouraged her to  do w)(at you t)(ink is rig)(t and even if you were wrong t)( worst t)(at )(appened was you )(elped somebody and )(elped )(he w)(ole world too! , trusting in Kanaya’s judgment in regards to the thing with VRISKA SERKET. They were both aware of the impending doom to the TROLLS LUSII, both expressing sorrow for what would come. The fact that the two of them were both aware of secrets, Kanaya from her Prospit dreams and Feferi’s lusus whispering to her, suggesting that they found it easier to open up to one another simply because of they could share this clandestine information. It is possible that Kanaya took vengeance out on ERIDAN AMPORA for murdering Feferi, as well as a multitude of other poorly thought out, horrible actions against Kanaya and her friends, showing she cared about Feferi and wanted to make him pay.Don’t be surprised to see Kanaya swallowed up by a great big gleeful hug upon Feferi’s arrival, happy glubs filling the air to be reunited with a good friend. 

{We at WHAT PUMPKIN would like to add that, should future lines of units be developed and make it to the market, we will send an updated version of the Relationships with Other Units sections to further outline their bonds if they are individuals your units have interacted with. If they haven’t, well then you’re screwed and are going to have to watch how that weird shit plays out.}

**Troubleshooting**  
As per the typical orders from our legal team, which has expanded to include a particular snickering, slobbering TROLL who we will discuss further in a later manual {Hint, hint, its coming sooner than you think. Okay NOW will you do the winky face? Damnit Emma, you’re the queen of no fun, our fierce dragon lawyer would be so ashamed of you.}, we have a handy dandy Q&A for some possible problems that may arise during Kanaya’s stay with you. She’s far from the most problematic, but she’s still got a couple issues with her that you should be aware of. As well as dealing with some humdrum little problems outside the usual new roommate struggles.   
**How do I best deal with Kanaya’s relentless thirst for blood? Can I become a vampire too??**  
Ugh, I was not looking forward to this question. The second one I mean, the first is easily explained and we can delve into the dietary changes that being a RAINBOW DRINKER can cause. But first of all, for all you folks who wanna be vampires or want to be smooched by a vampire: No. Unless you yourself are a JADE BLOOD TROLL and are killed, you cannot become one of Kanaya’s reborn, glowing peers, especially not after something as weak sauce as getting some neck chomps when she feeds. We’re not Twilight people, and we are trying to steer clear of all that uncomfiness associated with that fandom. Anyway, back to the more important and cooler question about how to keep Kanaya healthy and well fed, you’ll be relieved to hear she can consume regular food as well as her blood diet. Now, she doesn’t gain half as much sustenance from solid foods as she once did and her sense of taste has changed due to her biological revival as well, but she does have a fondness for tea and similar beverages and won’t turn her nose up to offered snacks. This of course means that blood will be a heavy staple in her meals and you’ll have to figure out an ethical, or at least somewhat morally dubious, way in order to produce the required liquid. As outlined in Unit’s Settings, this can range from personally donating it yourself or getting other UNITS to pitch in. A ROSE LALONDE UNIT will be more than happy to assist in this, as well as some friends of Kanaya, such as KARKAT VANTAS and ARADIA MEGIDO.   
**Kanaya appears to be constantly in FURIOUS mode, prowling around the house and eyeing the vents suspiciously. I have recently/already have a GAMZEE MAKARA UNIT in my household. What can I do to alleviate the situation?**  
Oh boy, this is a toughie. Kanaya and GAMZEE MAKARA do not have a tight relationship, as explained back in the Relationships with Other Units section, considering all the violence and murder he did committed. However, if she’s watching the vents, this suggests that Kanaya has somehow recalled the memories from the GAMEOVER timeline {We still have no idea why UNITS from the RETCON timeline can regain these memories or what causes this to occur. Luis is tearing his hair out over this mess and it’s taking all we can do to stop him from going bald. WP will update you when we learn more.} In this case, she’s got even more reason to be suspicious and wary of him than just recalling how GAMZEE MAKARA was shoved unceremoniously into the fridge for much of their meteor travels {Literally and figuratively.} In any case, it’s important to settle the issue in a peaceful way that doesn’t escalate any violence. Getting GAMZEE MAKARA to a therapist will certainly lower tensions and slow progress with the two becoming more open as he makes the suitable apologies and reparations will improve things.   
**I don’t have a problem with Kanaya’s interests, but how do I get her to tidy up during one of her working binges? There’s fabric and scraps everywhere and she’s hanging huge yards of the stuff outside, my neighbors are trying to report me to the neighborhood committee for “damaging the value of the property.”**  
Well, Kanaya has an unusual sense of aesthetic and she’s well known to drape her excessive fabric outside to add to the house’s charm. Granted, it makes your place look like a circus tent that was ripped to pieces and blown about by a tornado. Having a talk with Kanaya about this will hopefully get her to tone down the overwhelming clash of colors and patterns, maybe offer to help her redecorate her own room so she can still enjoy the aesthetic. As for the first issue, when Kanaya gets absorbed into a project, its all she can thing about. Don’t worry, she will begin tidying up once she gets to the end of it, maybe you can ask if she’d like some help during the construction process so you can clean things up as she goes along. Just be wary to not throw away anything important. Also, what's your neighborhood's problem with some color fabrics? You'd think they'd be impressed with her topiary skills more than the occasional eccentric antics. 

Remember, if you have any burning questions or an urge to annoy our local resident ecto-biologist and disaster expert, shoot Luis a call at our Troubleshooting Hotline, XXX-XXX-0413. He may not thank you for disturbing his work, but he will assist in whatever conundrum you’re stuck in.

**Final Words**  
If any of you are old fans of our previous manuals, you might even own an additional UNIT or two by now with the way we’re churning these guys out, you’re probably well aware what legal and moral niceties we’re about to delve into. Still, WHAT PUMPKIN wants to extend our sincerest gratitude towards your continued support for our company and the content we create. Whether you’re a long term fan or someone you decided to buy from us for a lark, we appreciate the patronage and hope that you fully enjoy the products available, from our webcomic to video games to our UNITS lineup. We hope that you and Kanaya will get along swimmingly, and that you two can craft a patchwork of friendship so strong that you can hang that shit like a well tailored tapestry on your wall that depicts your journey along the road of camaraderie for all to see. 

**Author's Note:**

> As usual, I'd like to thank all you readers out there, hopefully this series continues to entertain everyone and that you'll enjoy the rest of what I have planned. Special thanks to botgal for all the support and advice when working on these manuals!  
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated and be sure to look forward to for 6/18 for the latest installment, featuring everyone's favorite blind badass with a habit of slobbering on everything in sight.


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